It has been four months today that I lost my sweet Andy. I can’t believe it has been four months already. That’s 122 days without him. It’s unbelieveable to me. Unfathomable. I think a part of me is still numb.
In our entire relationship the longest we had ever been apart was about three months. And it was torture.
Andy took a job in Ottawa in the Autumn of 2004 when his Dad, Ralph, was fighting his brain tumour and we wanted Andy to be with him. During that few months we talked at least once a day and travelled to see each other several times. Even still, it wasn’t enough for us. I remember breaking down in tears at the airport every time we had to say good bye. The emails were countless. The phone calls would end with, ‘you hang up.” “No, you hang up!”
Now it’s been four months since I’ve seen his smile, heard his voice, and looked into his beautiful eyes. Dammit. I’d give anything for him to be on the other end of a phone call.
And I’d never hang up.